The Snackening

By Curt Neill

Curt Neill is a writer and actor who lives in Los Angeles. He is the author of “This Movie Will Require Dinosaurs,” which is available here.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Moonlight fills the room as SUSAN and JOHN sleep soundly in their bed. Outside a storm is brewing and the curtains are
flowing wildly as a window has been left open.

THUNDER. LIGHTNING.

John snaps awake from the power of the thunder. Once he gathers himself, he notices the open window. So he climbs out
of bed and walks over to close it. Taking a moment to observe
the growing storm once he does.

INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

John enters in search of a late night snack. He opens the fridge, and is immediately startled.

INSERT ON THE OPEN FRIDGE: It’s practically empty. Juice, milk, butter. Nothing else. John seems very confused. He
closes the fridge, thinks for a moment, then opens the
nearest cupboard. Again he is startled.

INSERT ON THE CUPBOARD: Empty. John’s confusion grows.

JOHN

What the fuck…?

He rushes over to the pantry and flings the door open.

INSERT ON THE PANTRY: Completely. Empty. John’s confusion has now become fear.

JOHN (CONT’D)

What the fuck?!
(beat)
All the snacks are… gone.

THUNDER! LIGHTNING! John is startled. He hesitates, only briefly, then bolts for the door.

EXT. GROCERY STORE – LATER

John, still in his pajamas, parks his car haphazardly and runs inside, paying no attention to the now pouring rain.

INT. GROCERY STORE – MOMENTS LATER

He frantically runs through the store, aisle by aisle, his soaking wet slippers squeaking with every step on the freshly
waxed tile, only to discover the shelves are all half empty.

Plenty of spices, dry pasta, mayonnaise, mustard… but no snacks. John is freaking out.

INT. 7-11 – LATER

Through the glass we see John’s car hydroplane into the parking lot and almost crash into the building. He leaves his
door wide open, runs into the store, and immediately SCREAMS!
We spin around to see that the entire store is completely
empty
. Not a single item for sale.

CASHIER

Holy hell, buddy, you alright?

JOHN

The snacks! WHERE ARE THE SNACKS?!

The cashier seems confused.

CASHIER

The snacks? What the hell are
snacks? I ain’t never heard that
word in my life.

John let’s out a primal scream.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM

John wakes up screaming. He quickly stops, catches his
breath, and looks outside; a perfectly quiet evening.

JOHN

Oh, thank god. It was just a dream.

SUSAN (O.S.)

Honey? What’s wrong?

JOHN

I just had the worst nightmare. All
the snacks in the world were go-

John turns around to find… A GIANT TEDDY GRAHAM (chocolate
of course) LAYING NEXT TO HIM.

GIANT TEDDY GRAHAM

All the snacks were what, sweetie?

John screams once more.

BLACK OUT.