Tad Carpenter

tadcarpenter.com

You’re standing outside a 7-11 when the aliens land. They can only survive on Earth for 2 minutes and you only have 2 dollars. What snack do you buy to teach them about humanity and provide sustenance for their long journey home?

I’m gonna throw a curve ball here. Yes, a soft pretzel, nachos or even 7-11’s signature “Cheeseburger Bite” (a cheeseburger in the convenient shape of a hotdog) are all very nice. But, for me, it’s the classic Take 5 Candy bar. If you have never had a Take 5 candy bar, take the rest of the day off and get to a 7-11. The Take 5 is the Rolls-Royce of candy bars…it has it all. Peanut butter, pretzel, caramel and milk chocolate candy coating.

You’ve been counting for months and finally your baby daughter has enough teeth to chew a chip. Which chip do you choose to start her human snacking experience?

Cheetos. Duh. Puffs, crunchy, Flammin’ Hot. PLUS, she gets to lick her fingers when complete.

You’re a rebel and you’ve just won the war. What do you and your comrades munch on together as a free people?

Jerky. Pounds and pounds of glorious jerky.

You’re 10 years old and you mom has asked you to clean your room one too many times so you’re running away. There’s enough change in your piggy bank and enough space in your bindle to bring one snack into your new life. What do you buy down at the general store?

I already mentioned my love of the Take 5 bar but I’d snag some original Pringles and just ride the wave of happy.

You’re up in the club and you’ve just fallen in love. But in the morning, for reasons you’ll never fully understand, he or she will be gone. What snack will you buy at the corner store before you Uber back to your place? What snack will you pair with the the one that gets away?

Anything that has been slow cooking at 7-11 for 4-5 days has to taste like tears.