Thomas Bradley

thomascbradley.com

It’s 1903 and you’ve just seen the Wright brothers plane fly over your head. What snack do you pair with your amazement?

Skippy Creamy peanut butter and Welches grape jelly on Premium saltine crackers, and four Reese’s Peanut Butter christmas trees, chased with a tall, cold glass of Vitamin D milk.

It’s 1974 and you’ve just arrived at the Ramones first show at CBGB’s. What did you pick up at the bodega before hand?

Melted white Monterey Jack queso dip, Portland Taqueria’s salsa, a bottle of Valentina’s hot sauce, some of Haley’s guacamole, a bag of Juanitas tortilla chips and some Arby’s curly fries, paired with a fountain Coke on ice, free refills.

It’s 1215 and you’re present at the signing of the Magna Carta. What will hold you over until the great feast?

Chewy Chocolate Chip Chips Ahoy cookies microwaved for 10 seconds paired with some Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies and a couple of Little Debbie’s Oatmeal Cream Pies, and a frosty stein of Vitamin D milk.

It’s 1969 and you’ve just landed on the moon. What celebratory freeze-dried treat will you scarf down once you’re back in the L.E.M.?

Eight breaded and fried chicken wing drumettes, a side of home-made ranch dressing and a side of Frank’s red hot mixed together (aka Manch Dressing), some McDonalds fries, a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, and a slushy margarita.

It’s 2456 and the generation ship has finally found an inhabitable planet. What’s the first thing you nibble on this second Earth’s surface?

A wedge of Cougar Gold Cheddar, a jar of Mama Lil’s pickled asparagus, pita chips, Athens garlic hummus, garlic-stuffed olives, a box of Cheez-It, and a $30 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.